Shawn Michaels

Shawn Michaels

Wrestler of the Year, Every Year

Also Known as: The Heartbreak Kid, The Showstopper, HBK, Sexy Boy

Height: kinda short, but not enough to notice

Weight: light enough to hold the Cruiserweight Title, but heavy enough to win the WWE Title

Born: long, long ago

Resides: somewhere in Texas

Shawn Michaels.
The only man who possess the natural ability to make smarks cream themselves.
The only man who has a natural aura of awesomeness around them.
The only man who is wrestler of the year, every year - even when he's not actively wrestling.

History

Shawn "The Heartbreak Kid" "The Backbreak Kid" "The Heartbreak Kid" Michaels is that man, the headliner, the Showstoppa, da Christian, da main event!
/wooo/ thinks he's cute
/wooo/ knows he's sexy

The Early Years

When Michaels was but a young boy, he had a very abusive father. One particular day, Shawn was frolicking outside... when his father shouted 'I'M GONNA GET YOU BOY!' His dad suddenly came charging out into the yard and delivered a hard right hook to Shawn (which he sold perfectly). After a barrage of punches, it looked like young Shawn was doomed. Suddenly, he kipped up onto his feet from the floor with golden dexterity and forearm smashed his dad. He followed up by climbing onto the family car and crashed elbow-first into his dad's sternum. While waiting for his father to recover, Shawn began stomping his right foot while the neighbors marked the fuck out and counted. When his father finally arose, he turned around only to be met with BAH GAWD SWEET CHIN MUSIC and pinned (a wandering hobo counted for three). Following these events, Shawn was signed up to a Wrasslin School.

WWE

Shawn Michaels began his career tagging with a jobber called Marty Jannetty but Marty soon felt the sting of the Heartbreak Kid when he was superkicked on a segment of 'The Barber Shop'. From there, Shawn Michaels was destined for greatness.
Michaels became the Heartbreak Kid and had several fucktacular matches, innovating Ladder matches and HIAC.
His feats of awesomeness include:

1. Totally dominating Bret Hart with the Montreal Screwjob
2. Throwing piss on Vince

And countless others. While in the WWE, he became a member of the Cool lads in quasi upper exit (also know as the Clique). When Nash and Hall had to leave, they all decided to have gay sex right in the ring. Vince wasn't happy with this because they hadn't use WWE's sponsored condoms Durex! Durex is made with strong silicone and reinforced with plastic, so that sperm won't get through! Buy some today! In the end Hunter got banned and Shawn was like 'fuck this shit' and nothing happened to him.
Shawn got a back injury after being too awesome and had to leave (not before putting Austin over).
When Shawn returned (causing several smarks to rape people in blind delight) he had found both God and his smile (he previously lost them in a sock drawer) and all was well. From then on, smarks have been sucking his dick and he has been on matches of the year (every year)...until he retired ;_;.

OK, so who's been built up since I've been gone?

Move Set

• Finishers
  • Sweet Chin Music
• Signatures
  • Losing his smile
  • Carrying anybody and everybody to a decent match
  • Doing drugs and being a dick
  • Sobering up and being a Christian
  • Overselling

Championships Held

• All of them at least once. Yes, ALL OF THEM.

See Also

• Triple H
• Scott Hall
• Kevin Nash
• Stephanie McMahon
• Vince McMahon

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