/smoke/ Achievements

Achievement list

Along the same lines of all those other achievements, we bring you the official /smoke/ achievement list.

Cigarette Achievements

Basic Achievements

• (5) First Stop On The Cancer Express - Smoke your first cigarette.
• (5) Love It Or Hate It. Try your first mentholated cigarette.
• (5) Harsh Man - Smoke your first non filtered cigarette.
• (5) Pride and Smoke - Roll and smoke a cigarette.
• (5) Touch Butts - Light a cigarette using another's cherry.
• (-5) Let Me Get One Of Those - Bum your first smoke.
• (5) Denied - Get denied on a bum attempt.
• (5) Benevolent - Give a cigarette out to a bummer.
• (5) That Smell... - Unintentionally burn a hole in something (car seat, clothing, etc.).
• (10) See if I Help YOU Again! - Get denied on a bum attempt by someone you've given cigarettes to in the past.
• (10) Family Sized - Buy a carton.
• (10) Me Make Fire... - Own your first lighter.
• (10) ...Every Time... - Own a Zippo.
• (-250) Losing it - Lose your first Zippo at a coffee shop, etc. (seriously, that 1943, was worth something, Shelby.)
• (10) ...Like Grandpa - Own a Zippo older than you are.
• (10) Community Service - Give a cigarette out to a homeless person.
• (25) Mother Theresa - Give a whole pack to a homeless person.

Advanced Achievements

• (5) Hipster Karma Singe your beard or mustache lighting a cigarette.
• (5) Free Wax Female equivalent to above. Singe an eyebrow lighting a smoke.
• (5) Four Eyes Sting your eyes with smoke caught under your glasses.
• (5) STFU - Get bitched at by a stranger for smoking (triple if you blow the smoke in his/her face).
• (5) Jaundice - Your fingers have a noticeable nicotine stain.
• (5) Ninja - Keep smoking while living with someone who won't let you smoke (Must live with them for more than a month).
• (5) Cruisin - Light a cigarette with a car cigarette lighter while driving.
• (10) Sky Writer - Learn how to blow smoke rings.
• (10) Trs Bien - Learn how to French inhale.
• (10) Smoke Surgeon - Patch a broken cigarette with a piece of paper, making it smoke-able.
• (10) Look Ma, No Hands! - Smoke an entire cigarette without taking it out of your mouth.
• (10) In Soviet Russia, Cigarette Smokes You - Smoke a cigarette in below freezing weather (triple when 0 Fahrenheit/-17 Celsius or lower).
• (10) Is Something Burning... - Smoke a cigarette in 100+ Fahrenheit weather.
• (10) White Whale, Holy Grail - Locate and purchase a pack of Lucky Strikes.
• (10) The Ironworker - Light a cigarette with a welding torch or similar tool.
• (15) Down The Hatch - Smoke a whole cigarette in one drag.
• (15) Bruce Willis - Smoke a cigarette while shooting a firearm (+5 if it's a Beretta 92F, +50 if it's an HK94).
• (15) Careful - Smoke a whole cigarette without flicking the ashes and without them falling off.
• (30) Advanced Aerial Acrobatics - Blow a smoke ring and then blow another one through it.
• (30) Basic Instinct - Smoke while interrogated - "What are you gonna do? Charge me with smoking?".
• (50) SNAKE! Watch out! - Reveal a hidden laser trap.
• (50) Grower - Grow a tobacco plant, then smoke it.
• (100) Best Party Trick - Do this.

Addiction Achievements

• (5) It's Just Not The Same - You no longer get a nicotine buzz from a single cigarette.
• (5) WE'RE OUT OF FUCKING CHEEZ-ITS - Get pissed off over something mundane, only to realize it's because you haven't smoked recently.
• (5) TB - Cough up blood for the first time.
• (5) Poverty Line - Smoke all the way down to the filter to get your money's worth.
• (10) I Know You... - You no longer get carded at your favorite place to buy smokes.
• (10) That Black-Lunged Son of a Bitch - Chain-smoke a whole pack of Reds.
• (10) Regurge - Collect tobacco from discarded butts and roll them into a smokable cigarette. You disgusting bastard.
• (20) Full Lungs, Empty Stomach - Spend more money on cigarettes per week than food.
• (20) I Can Quit Whenever I Want... - Try to quit for the first time...
• (-20) ...I Just Don't Want To Right Now. - ...only to start smoking again.
• (-20) Grand Theft Carcinogen - Steal cigarettes from a friend or relative
• (-25) I'm a bad, bad man. - Steal money off of a relative or roommate to sustain your habit(Preferably your little sister).

Classy Motherfucker Achievements

• (5) Classy Mother Fucker - Drink a fine wine or expensive liquor with your cigarette.
• (5) The Choking Hippy - Buy a pack of Natural American Spirits
• (10) Feels Good Man - Smoke after sex.
• (50) Livin' The Life - Get a blow job whilst smoking.
• (100) You've Earned It - Smoke a Sobranie Black Russian after sleeping with a black chick and a Russian chick.

Combo Achievements

• (5) Legal Eagle - Smoke while under the influence of alcohol.
• (5) The Tom Waits - Smoke Marlboro Reds while under the influence of Jack Daniels.
• (5) Herbiwhore - Smoke while under the influence of cannabis.
• (5) Green & Wild - Empty a Black & Mild, leaving a pinch or so of tobacco at the end, and fill the rest with cannabis
• (5) What Addiction? - Smoke while under the influence of an opiate.
• (5) Burning Relaxation - Smoke while under the influence of a benzo.
• (5) Robosmoke - Smoke while under the influence of a dissociative.
• (5) I Keep Dropping It - Smoke while under the influence of a deliriant (...or did you?).
• (5) Fashion Model - Smoke while under the influence of a stimulant.
• (5) ...or does the cigarette smoke ME? - Smoke while under the influence of a psychedelic.
• (-5) Towelie - Be so intoxicated that you light the filter.
• (10) P-Funks - Do a bump of coke out of the recessed filter on a Parliament.
• (20) Tour D /smoke/ - Smoke a cigarette, cigar, pipe and hookah all in a single day, though not necessarily in that order.

Pipe/Hookah/Cigar Achievements

• (5) Quite. - Smoke a pipe.
• (5) The Aficionado - Smoke a real Cigar
• (5) Tradition! - Light a pipe with one wooden match (double points for outdoors, triple if it's really windy).
• (5) Through the Ages - Smoke a pipe with an older relative who taught you (usually a grandfather, but not necessarily; must be at least 10 years older).
• (5) It's Elementary, My Dear Watson. - Buy your first pipe.
• (10) Farmer Tom - Make a corncob pipe.
• (10) Hookah Hookup - Buy your first hookah.
• (15) Going Steady - Smoke your pipe on a single lighting.
• (-50) No one gives a fuck. - Make a pointless "What should I name my hookah, /smoke/?" thread.

Smokeless Tobacco Achievements

• (5) Pane in the Ass - After taking out your dip, toss the plug at a window so it sticks.
• (5) Welcome to Texas - Learn how to pack the can.
• (5) Smug Asshole - Use smokeless in front of a no smoking sign.
• (5) Nicotine Ninja - Throw your can like a ninja star and hit someone in the head.
• (5) Aggie Combo - Mix a pouch of Red Man tobacco with Big League Chew
• (5) Jud Mug - Buy a Mud Jug.
• (10) I'm a Real Man Now - Put in a fat pinch of Copenhagen long cut having only dipped weak, plastic-tinned brands before.
• (10) Scarface of Shag - Try nasal snuff.
• (10) Snus on the Loose - Finish a tin of snus.
• (10) Penny Pincher - Finish your first tub of Stoker's.
• (30) Snus overseas - Import snus from another country.
• (30) Propylene GlyCool - Buy an E-Cigarette.
• (30) Come Across the Street... - Fill a soda bottle with spit so it appears to be refilled.
• (30) Sarcoma - Dip a can a day for at least a year.
• (35) Ironman - Dip an entire can one pinch after the other.
• (35) Smelly Fingers - Have over half a can of dip in one chaw.
• (35) Southern Pride - Develop a circular ring on your back pocket.