|"I swear to drunk I'm not God"|
 Mouthwash/Rubbing Alcohol
Mouthwash and rubbing alcohol are NOT safe to drink. Mouthwash contains methanol. Methanol will cause blindness, and in higher volumes, death. Rubbing alcohol contains isopropanol which is less inebriating and twice as toxic as ethanol. Anything that is marked as "denatured" alcohol will also cause similar effects.
From http://www.straightdope.com: Many mouthwashes contain alcohol--original formula Listerine is 26.9 percent alcohol, making it approximately 54 proof (other flavors contain less). Denatured makes it sound like they take out of alcohol whatever's normally in it that gets you drunk, but in fact all they do is put other stuff in to make it undrinkable (except by the truly desperate) and in some cases poisonous. Why denature, you ask? Because the potable natural version is subject to federal excise tax, whereas the denatured kind isn't. "Completely denatured alcohol" is virtually impossible to render into a drinkable beverage--it may contain kerosene, among other things. "Specially denatured alcohol" such as that used in Listerine receives less radical treatment, although some SDA formulas do contain methyl (wood) alcohol, which if ingested often or copiously enough can cause blindness, organ damage, and death.
 Hangover Prevention
Hangovers are much harder to cure than they are to prevent. Prevention doesn't take much, even for a heavy night of drinking. For as long as I've been taking preventative measures, I've never had a hangover worse than a slight headache that was easily cured with an ibuprofen. Drink lots of water - This is the most important part. The majority of a hangover is caused by dehydration. The best way to do this is to alternate between booze and water, but if you don't think you can do that, go ahead and slam a few glasses of water before you go to bed. The magic ratio of alcohol to water seems to be 200ml of water to each 30ml of ethanol consumed. So here's how it breaks down by drink:
- One 12 oz. Beer (5% ABV) = 4 fluid ounces of water
- One 6 oz. Glass of wine (12% ABV) = 5 fluid ounces of water
- One 1.5 oz. Shot of Liquor (40% ABV) = 4 fluid ounces of water. It's safer to drink more water if you can. I usually just drink water until I'm full and can't drink anymore.
- Multivitamin - Part of what causes a hangover is the depletion of B vitamins, so it's important to replenish those B vitamins, lest you be stricken with Korsakoff's Syndrome.
- Food - Food can be consumed immediately before, during, or immediately after drinking. It's best to eat something high in proteins and amino acid; a plate of steak and eggs, meat-lover's pizza, a big cheese burger, something of this sort. It won't absorb alcohol, but it will help you metabolize it faster.
- Avoid Sugar - Sugar causes hangovers by depleting your B vitamins faster. Avoid things like Smirnoff Ice, Mike's Hard Anything, Sparks, Joose, etc.
 "Curing" a Hangover
Hangovers are virtually impossible to cure, but can be treated to make you feel less like you were raped by a freight train.
- Multivitamins: Drinking depletes B-Vitamins (which are essential to brain function) in your system which causes a bulk of the headache. If you put them back in, it will definitely help.
- Water: Most of a hangover is caused by dehydration, so rehydrate. It's best if you add a little salt to help keep the water in your system. Drinking Gatorade, Powerade, or anything with electrolytes is highly recommended.
- Greasy Breakfast: I don't know the science behind it, but it always helps me. Bacon, eggs, toast with butter, and sausage.
- Tomato Juice or Bloody Mary: This is in line with the 'hair of the dog' style cures. Tomato juice will settle your stomach, and the booze will make the hangover less noticeable and you probably won't care as much if you're tipsy again.
- Ginseng: This is to wake you up. You want to avoid caffeine because it's a diuretic (makes you pee) and you don't want that. You want the water to stay in your system.
- Hot Shower/Bath: It will help you sweat the toxins out of your system. You'll feel much better after you get out.
- Ibuprofen: It helps with the headache. I tend to avoid aspirin because it thins the blood. Ibuprofen is an anti-inflammatory. If you prefer aspirin, go for it.
 Jungle Juice
I'll be tapping a lot of anon sources, but basically it's...
Of course, we're into the art of drinking (hence the whole posting in /hooch/ part) and we remember that jungle juice is something we drink when we'd like to see acts of drunken debauchery and tomfoolery. When you drink it, though, it's like straight hard alcohol that tastes like Hawaiian punch. Its fucking deliciously good, plus it gets girls shit-face drunk. Women seem to think that since it's a mixed drink, they won't get that fucked up, but they are wrong (unlike your rugged, hardass that is silently sipping on that straight whiskey while reading this). So here are some scientific advances from our fellow scholars but first let me put emphasis on the container you make it in. Make sure it is a decent size. Not because you have enough friends to drink it all with but because you want the room for more/less juice should your concoction turn out to be too hard; completely fucking over the mask of innocent juice with just a "tad" of alcohol (don't blame me for any rape charges, you must have made it wrong).
- Gallon Jug of Everclear.
- Two three canisters of Kool-Aid
- Half a pound of sugar
- 3 pound bag of ice
- One of those huge orange Gatorade canisters, the type they dump on sports coaches.
- Something long enough to stir this with.
Combine all items in the giant Gatorade canister. Stir. Taste test. Taste test. Fall down
If you're a bourgeois fuck face or happened to be sharp enough to ask people to chip in...
- 1/2 a fifth of Bacardi 151
- Half gallon of vodka
- Half gallon of gin
- A fifth of peach schnapps
- A fifth of apple schnapps (99 Apples works good)
- 3-4 2 litres of Sprite
- Some Sunny Delight orange juice
- A fifth of triple sec
- A fifth of Pucker (choose your favorite fruit)
- A bunch of Hawaiian punch
- 2 things of frozen orange juice concentrate
- Diced fruit
- 1 bag of ice (probably 7lbs at least)
You can vary any of the ingredients to get the taste you want. Be sure to have extra alcohol and juice on hand so that you can balance out the tastes Strawberry, pineapple, kiwi, peach, and cantaloupe are what I usually cut up to go in it, but you can choose whatever you want really.
There is no scientific evidence that absinthe actually does cause you to hallucinate. Furthermore, studies on the levels of thujone contained in absinthes from various times of its popularity have shown that it usually contained too little thujone to cause any reaction with the nervous system (thujone can affect the nervous system, but not in a psychoactive way). Sure, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence to show that absinthe has psychoactive effects, but such evidence should never be presented as fact. It has been speculated that since thujone acts as a GABA antagonist it reduces the GABAnergenic affects of alcohol allowing the user to drink enough to experience the dissociative effects of alcohol's NMDA antagonism. Erowid's article on wormwood
 Our very own uglyhunchers firsthand experiences with absinthe
"I've had "authentic" (if you could truly call it that) absinthes, some with a shit ton of wormwood (ack), and some with with just the right amount. I did feel more lucid, and walked around while I was drunk instead of sitting or standing, and although I was fucking hammered, I wasn't sloppy. So yeah, I would say psychoactive, but not hallucinogenic."
 Body Mass
Although body mass does play a role in alcohol metabolism/inebriation, there is no set dose of alcohol that will give you a specific desired effect based on your height and weight. Many factors that affect your drunkenness are: food, and whether or not you have eaten before drinking, eaten while drinking, or drinking after you eat; medications, be sure to make sure drinking on your medication won't kill you. Check Google; the proof or ABV % (alcohol by volume percentage, proof is twice the amount of ABV) is how strong your booze is. This is usually a good indicator of how fucked up you will get; and the PACE at which you drink. Drink fast, you'll get fucked up fast. Drink slow, and you won't.
 Blackouts: En Bloc vs. Fragmentary
There are two types of alcohol related amnesia.
- En bloc: blanking out the entire night.
- Fragmentary: blanking out portions of the night.
Both can be brought on by a rapid increase in blood alcohol levels. You may be predisposed to this condition. Funny stories usually ensue. Sometimes, terrible things.
 Making Alcohol 'Easier' to Drink
Despite what all the tough guys say, alcohol is an acquired taste. It's why we didn't like it as children and why newbies still don't. If you're trying to get into drinking, start slow, you have your entire life to enjoy all those multi-colored gems in the alcohol aisle. For someone who absolutely cannot stomach alcohol in the least, start with a wine cooler or beer. Working up from there, try some wine or mixed drinks like a Screwdriver (vodka and orange juice). Don't be afraid to experiment with any concoction that you enjoy. Like wine? Try mixing in a shot of vodka! See what happens, there are no rules when it comes to your preference in alcohol.
Wine mixes well with soda, like Coke or Dr.Pepper. This is a Basque cocktail known as kalimotxo (also written calimocho), and chicks love that shit. I would use a sweeter wine instead of a drier one, like any cheap Franzia box like "Delicious Red," or a Shiraz, maybe a Chianti. Cabernet Sauvignon WILL NOT work. Bleh.
 Single Malt Scotch Pronunciation
To anyone who's struggled with the names of common Scotches, refer to this:
- Glenfiddich- glen-Fih-dich (with a hard "ch", as in "loch")
- Glenmorangie- Glen-Morrun-Jee" (rhymes with "Orangey")
- Bunnahabhain- Boon-a-havn
- Laphroaig- l
-FROYG Also, try consulting this site
 Finding Good Wine
You'll need to taste some. Price has almost nothing to do with how good it is, and especially not with how much you'll like it. This especially goes for wines rated high by reviewers: the rating makes the price go up because of higher demand.
 Getting Drunk on the Cheap
Really cheap booze will be poorly made, and have more chemicals in it to make the hangover worse.
In America, the cheapest alcohol is malt liquor (24oz $1.20, 40oz $2.20), box wine (5 liters for $10 or so), and vodka ($10 1.75l). To avoid the "I'M GOING TO DIE!" feeling, get a couple 40's, or filter the vodka through a Brita-style water filter. A hangover on box wine is BAD.
Elsewhere, look for the liquor that has the best price-to-quality ratio. Smirnoff vodka and Label 5 whiskey are available worldwide, are pretty affordable (a 2 L bottle of Label 5 costs about 22 € in France and $200 pesos in Mexico), and for this price they have a pretty decent taste and leave very little hangover.
 Getting Started on Beer
It's good to start at the lighter tasting end of the spectrum and work your way to the darker beers. IMHO, just about anyone who drinks beer likes (but doesn't necessarily love) Sapporo, which you can get in single cans. You may also want to try some fruit-flavored beers.
It's usually good to avoid macrobrews such as Budweiser, Miller, Coors, etc. They're designed for profit, not flavor, which is why they usually taste terrible. This sort of experience is what makes most people hate beer. German, British, Belgian and Scandinavian beers are usually very, very, very good; if you live in California, Illinois or the southern states you might find it easier to buy Mexican beer, which is usually far more palatable than American macrobrews. Whenever possible, look for a microbrewery: their beer is actually made for flavor, not for profit, and it often happens that even those who hate beer end up loving it after drinking a microbrew.
I wouldn't suggest telling them we sent you.
 How to Chill Your Beverage in Minutes
You will need:
- Cold Water
- Ice chest (a bucket can do, but an ice chest will stay cold for much longer)
- Pour your cold water into your ice chest.
- Add a few handfuls of salt and stir to dissolve. You have just created brine, which has a much lower freezing point than regular water.
- Add your ice and stir once or twice. You have just created super-cold brine.
- Submerge your beverage for two to three minutes, as that's all you will need.
 List of Drinking Games
 See Also
 External Links
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